Been gone since yesterday, Im not like you guys, Im not like you.

Life is is funny, just when u think things are really fucked up they get even weirder. I'm not even going to talk about the event in question but it still boggles my mind. Have u ever had a moment when u felt so dirty you took a shower? Not like physically dirty but .. u know dirty.. yeah that happened to me this afternoon. Just need to rinse the shame from my body.. not sure it worked. It's funny when u think u might have found the solution and it was nothing like what u were looking for. I think i get it now, but it still puts me back at square one.
So this weekend i paid another grand off my debt so i can go back to school. Made me feel a lot better. A friend of mine asked why do i care what people think about me so much and i dont think thats it. I want people to care about me? Idk i feel so alienated and just wish things could go back to normal. I wish i didnt have to move home. Oh and i almost got shot yesterday but thats a different story.